i had another dream

had another dream a few nights ago. i was in another shoot (shoot na pud) and was with this friend from college, who has a wife and son in real life. we were traveling to another shoot location so we were all in an production fb auv vehicle and talking about life. he mentions the guy companion i once met and saw him with in the mall was his boyfriend. i asked what happened to his wife and kid now that he’s supposedly out of the closet. he tells me he hasnt seen his wife and son since, and his wife has kept him out of his son’s life. i was of course heartbroken about that. and while he was saying this, the fb vehicle’s back door suddenly swung open (while in transit) and he fell out of the vehicle and tumbled onto the street while all the other cars just behind us and tricycles everywhere!

eventually he got back on the fb but now there were a lot of flies in the fb. i was trying to swat them out of my face and decided to open a window so they could fly out. i was using this abanico fan to drive them out the window but there too many of them. i slightly opened the fb door (still while in transit) and i found lots of maggots and fly pupae on the door so i was using the fan and trying to brush off these maggots from the door. they fell onto the streets as the fb continued to drive away to our wherever location. end of dream.



laundry list

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long laundry list for the government, written in 2016. i was once encouraged by the current president but even before the elections i had apprehensions and my gut told me to vote for somebody else. and my apprehensions and fears turned to reality.

regardless, there are some things on this laundry list that i can check off. higher wages for some sectors of the government is a yes (the police and military), fair taxation (except that the effect is not so favorable i.e. inflation, but we’ll see), accessible venues for art despite generally for metro manila residents. that’s about it. we have to moved more mountains to go through the rest of the list. remember, if the government cant help you, ikaw na gagawa. Godspeed!


i had a dream. part iviix

so i had a dream (woke up tired after all that).


nasa excursion daw ako or something kasama carlo, sisters ko, other friends etc. tapos may pa-raffle at nanalo ako ng He-Man and Skeletor na action figurines. kaso yung guy na may dalang maraming masters of the universe na figurines din (si pigong) hindi nilabas agad yung napanalunan ko, i think nilaro niya tapos ayaw ibigay sa akin agad.

tapos need na umalis so sumakay na kami ng vans and separate ang vans namin kay pigong. hindi ko nakuha ang He-Man and Skeletor ko. pagdating namin sa mall (limketkai na madilim at parang brownout pero maraming militar), parang nadedma na ang prize ko at di ko makukuha. so ginawa ng ate ko kumuha siya ng ibang action figures dun sa collection ni pigong.

hindi pa natatapos ang kwento. manonood daw kami ng sine ni carlo dun sa limketkai na madilim na parang brownout pero maraming militar. bibili kami ng ticket pero magkaiba ang papanoorin namin. ang papanoorin ko ay Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas.


ang tagal ko mahanap yung wallet ko kaya nagtagal ako sa ticket booth. eventually nakabili na ako ng ticket at nilagay ko siya sa bulsa ko na marami ding resibo kasama. tapos alam kong last full show ang papanoorin pero ang dami pang tao sa mall at ang layo ng sinehan na posible kaming ma-late. tapos sa paglalakad nawala kami, ibang coridor, ibang area pala ng mall at malayo sa cinema 4. eventually nahapan na namin ang cinema 4 at pwede na pumasok. mejo late na ang nagsimula na ata ang sine. hinahanap ko ang ticket kaso di ko mahanap. tumagal ako sa paghalungkat ng bag at bulsa dun sa mga resibo at nahirapan ako hanapin ang ticket ko para sa Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas ni ate shawie. ang ending hindi ako nakapasok at hindi ako nakapanood.

Tapos gumising na ako. The end.




watched CITIZEN JAKE last weekend march 10 at its world premiere in the UP film institute (formerly film center which we still fondly call it). it was a very strong piece of work and timely for this generation. mike de leon hasnt made a film in 18 years but clearly he hasnt lost his magic touch. the little touches of breaking the narrative with inserts of bts footage reminds you of bayaning third world.

atom araullo was awesome as the titular character and i was pleasantly surprised by max collins’s performance. luis alandy’s jonie was the ER we all wanted to have and even richard quan’s take on the henchman, enchong, was chilling i was afraid to approach him after the premiere coz he might pull out his gun on me. lol.

maybe i havent been clear but, yes, atom araullo is gorgeous on-screen and in person. probably not ok to drool on his coat but it’s hard to stop oneself. charot.

the film also brings in mike’s long-time collaborator, cesar hernando, the production designer for his previous movies, and who just retired from teaching at the up college of fine arts. he was our mentor and friend in university, he often brought us along to film festivals and continued to nurture our love and passion for filmmaking and we owe much to this awesome guy.

rounding out the stellar staff are colleagues from our FA organization, UP CINEMA AS ART MOVEMENT (UPCAM): editor tom estrera iii, who was chairman before me, and noel pascual our lib-sci member who eventually went to write for graphic novels like patay kung patay and now co-writer with mike de leon for citizen jake.

didnt have a photo but dix buhay is cinematographer i normally get to work with in commercials (and also dop for erik matti’s honor thy father and pepe diokno’s dinner for three) and martin mayuga, bianca balbuena’s little me, played line producer for mike de leon in this film.

art & design, musings

fanboying at the national museum

the first time i saw and realized the beauty of the senate hall was when they were fixing it in 2011. the space was so gorgeous even in its broken down state, i cried just being in it.

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we were able to visit again october 2012 and the senate hall was finally open.

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then came the news that the botong francisco murals from the manila city hall will be transferred to this gorgeous hall this year 2018. i was undoubtedly excited.

and it’s possibly the best space to enjoy one of our national artist’s masterpiece.


carlos “botong” francisco’s FILIPINO STRUGGLES THROUGH HISTORY was commissioned by the city govt of manila but is now moved and (maybe) permanently housed in the beautiful senate hall (my favorite hall) at the National Museum. gorgeous, iconic masterpiece! botong is known for his lyrical style and his murals on phil history reminds me of czech artist alphonse mucha’s works on the history of the slav people. something new to look forward to at the National Museum. please go and visit this amazing piece of filipino love.



hilak na pud.




THE ARTFAIR or Why it is important to teach kids today how to appreciate art properly.

confeermed. tita ako!

yesterday, carlo and i went to the artfair at the link in makati. it is a 4-day art event where they transform a carpark building into a collective featuring different art galleries and curators showcasing their collection of artists and artworks yada yada.



every year a lot more people go to these things but this year was pretty crazy because of the popularity of the fair. more kids came but alas, they were totally oblivious on how to “behave” in spaces like this. i felt they just came to take photos or selfies. i wish we went earlier (like maybe when they opened just to avoid the young crowd) but we only make it to the weekend.


some kids were so excited they bumped into others and disturbing people who were enjoying the artworks just so they could get near the objects and take selfies. good thing the sculptures on the pedestals they bump into didnt topple over. the titas of katipunan is livid. but i was too exhausted to call them on it. there were several floors of art this year and i had to conserve energy.


nevertheless, im also glad the galleries come together to get into this, and more “everyday” people coming in to “appreciate” art, if not, to at least take selfies and declare themselves art lovers. something good will come out of this, im sure. i hope.


carlo teared up in the EJK exhibit (“silang mga walang pangalan). i did when i saw this photo. this was part of neal oshima’s photos on display (photo taken in 2014). i met this guy, ma’afil in 2004 in lake sebu when i went to work on a documentary of the t’bolis and their ancestral domain in a government-protected watershed area. i asked to buy one of his hegulungs without the tourist writings on it and when he came by to deliver it, i asked him to play the hegulung while i took a video. i did learn eventually he passed away around 2016 so it got me reminiscing and nostalgic when i saw his photo on display. rest in peace ma’afil.

here’s the link to my blog entry on lake sebu and ma’afil’s sister, y’egas.


ooh. also invaded the booth at the artfair and bought a few books. below is the las casas bajo de las campanas. the other book carlo and i bought was salvador bernal’s patterns of the filipiniana. another book was ethnic patterns of the philippines. so much fun! and good luck credit card. i couldnt afford the artworks on display so i just bought books instead.