filmmaking, movies, musings


this is a long overdue post.


saw this during the cinema one originals festival in november last year and i was blown away. i kept saying to people it strongly reminded me of this tilda swinton film and all my emotions about watching that film and i didnt realize the gorgeous CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (2017) was directed by the same guy who did the gorgeous I AM LOVE (2009), one of our favorite films of all time. bow ako luca guadagnino. even blogged about I AM LOVE years ago. 

3 months after and im still rendered speechless about this film, i cant really verbalize my emotions. a lot of friends have said the book was better, the book was better yada yada. i cant validate which would be better because as a film, i felt strong emotions from the walls and on that piano and the orchard and in the water and in his swim shorts. ganung levels charot. to better appreciate it i decided to forego finishing what i was reading currently (love in the time of cholera, a reading project being put off since 2000) and purchase the book.

for one thing, the casting is awesome if based on the book. it doesnt really help that i have a huge crush on armie hammer in his film with henry cavill (the man from U.N.C.L.E.).

the book is sending me into all sorts of emotions and bringing me back to embarrassing moments in my life where i was once elio, struggling to understand his feelings and all that jazz. jusko. im taking my time to finish the book because i cant breathe.


In Call Me By Your Name, Oliver (Armie Hammer, left) and Elio (Timothée Chalamet) spend a summer falling in love in Northern Ital

maybe when i finish reading it, i can be eloquent with words and intelligently discuss why i loved this movie and logically plot out my feelings and emotions. and maybe im pretty sure that really wont happen.


i cant breathe.


cant wait!

ive been a fan of botong francisco and i truly believe he is our version of Alphonse Mucha.  or mucha is the czech republic’s version of our botong francisco? either way, they are both awesome and doing all this crazy ass big mural paintings.

i cant wait to see this on saturday. off to the national museum!


the big bad wolf sale

the irony of me posting on twitter a few days before and me last night visiting BBW.

rc and bianca had original plans to visit the big bad wolf sale after the awards show at resort’s world. since carlo and i generally had nothing to do afterwards (except sleep), we went along. i though to myself, if i do find some titles i planned to buy anyway, i might as well indulge.



the good thing about this is it’s 24 hours open. i know the whole thing opened a few days ago and will end on february 24, 2018. it’s a massive display of books it kinda reminds me of m/v doulos back in the 80s, which docked in cagayan de oro as part of its philippine tour and we were all excited to go buy our books.

the name big bad wolf reminds me of customer service wolf who works in a bookstore. lol


love this comic strip.

The Big Bad Wolf Book Sale originated in Malaysia and was founded by Andrew Yap and Jacqueline Ng in 2009. It is a regular event in Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka; the 2018 event in Pasay will mark the first time it will be held in the Philippines.

Most of the books available come from the stock of Andrew and Jacqueline’s BookXcess, a bookstore that specializes in excess stock from international distributors.

while there was indeed a massive selection to choose from, i came home empty handed. i was practicing self-control because i am on a material-things-diet. books, as much as i love them, still counts for space in my room and i know i wont be able to read them as fast as i want and as long as that happens, i told myself years ago i shouldnt be buying new books (promise kept).

full disclosure, the last book i purchased was from fully booked just a week ago.

back to big bad wolf, i wanted to buy some books by douglas adams but they didnt feature the whole hitchhikers guide collection (the only ones available were book two and three i found miles away from each other– or maybe they ran out of the other titles) or that x-men tradepaperback graphic novel but eventually decided to pass. a lot of gorgeous interior design books but they were still quite expensive in general and by experience, they get outdated pretty quickly so ive actually stopped buying these years ago. i also tried to pick up a biography of alexander mcqueen and some books by h.g. wells. eventually i dropped them along the way and never looked back (sorry if im messing up the floor space by moving those few books around, i love you BBW staff).

on the whole, it was still encouraging to see people at 2.30AM still out and about bookshopping. there were also some kids with their parents so might be pretty exciting for young minds to be in this huge ass warehouse with all the books, noh?


BIG BAD WOLF is at the world trade center, pasay city. open 24 hours until february 24, 2018. cheers!

laundry therapy, musings

capsule wardrobe!

first time im hearing this now. capsule wardrobe! maria callas in terence mcnally’s masterclass talked about having the Look. it’s when you’re bound to a certain recognizable style that becomes your brand. lagerfeld with his glasses. steve jobs with his turtlenecks. zuckerberg with his grey shirts. anna wintour with her hair (ok it’s not clothing, what do you expect from a fashion guru). the Look is not necessarily being fashionable but about being yourself. perhaps capsule wardrobe is a mashup of the Look (in relation to a curated wardrobe) and the konmarie method of a. keeping what brings you joy and b. keeping clothes to a minimum.


umm, no, that’s not my Look. it’s my wakanda warrior pose.

im almost always wearing black. it was something that just naturally happened during my college years and cemented itself when i started working. ive had a few colored shirts throughout the years but it’s probably in the last 5 years that ive almost exclusively worn black tops and dark jeans.


well, ok in this photo i wore blue chinos.

my reasons for wearing black were mostly because they were economical. number 1, it takes me about a second to decide on what to wear in the morning. i open my closet and pick oh, maybe this black shirt instead of that other one, and they’re all the same black shirts (fila large size black shirts because the length and width of the shirt is perfect for me and also the length of the sleeves). it’s a no brainer.

secondly, black doesnt scream out fat. i was a skinny 90 lb kid in the 90s. and in the year 2018 im maybe 2018 lbs. no, im not. im hiding some things (like my midsection really). my neck and cheeks have gotten really big too so i should maybe consider turtlenecks. in tropical philippines. thirdly, there’s no third reason. my shirts are inexpensive, only my underwear is expensive but ive stopped buying expensive underwear for the last 3 years maybe but that’s for another blog.

benjamin padero

this is me 50 lbs ago. and without hair. my Look then was a shaved head.

ive read and done the konmarie method of weeding out my stuff in 2015. take note, weeding, not keeping things tidy (at least for me). marie kondo, if you havent heard of her, is a japanese tidying-up master who wrote a book, spark joy, about the konmarie method. basically if you’re cleaning through your wardrobe, you take out all your clothes into a pile and touch them one by one, segregating the items that still give you “joy” when wearing and tossing out items you may not have worn in the last 1-2 years because maybe it doesnt fit you anymore or you were saving them for special events but have tons of those, and you might need to reconsider and let them go. it’s very therapeutic and helpful for hoarders like myself. i was able to cut down my clothes to a minimum. and they’re all black.


i did my kondofying of the closet around 2015. and im proud to say ive managed to keep my closet roughly the same now as it was when i cleaned it out. before photo below. mind you this was carlo’s and mine, yes it was recently cleaned up and organized but there were a lot of clothes here. photo taken in 2015.


here is my closet now, 2018 taken just this afternoon.


carlo and i just celebrated our 11th anniversary. you wanna know the secret in being able to keep a relationship going strong all these years? separate closets! i kid you not. what you’re seeing is just my closet.

in the photo above on pile number 1, i have maybe 5-6 cotton jackets (i get cold easily). pile number 2, i cycle through about 5 shirts for sleep/home use (oversized cotton shirts for comfort). i still have 3 shirts there i cant let go (one is a purple shirt coco martin wore as his costume in his first movie, an ET shirt from my cousin tootsie, and a coke shirt with ET on it from tita an). undernearth i have white button-down shirts i dont normally wear but need for formal events (a tuxedo shirt) or funerals (ironically, white is de rigueur in funerals). pile number 3: 2 dri-fit shirts for shooting (uniqlo shirts are nice) and maybe 10 cotton fila shirts for everyday needs plus around 5 button-down shirts (long and short-sleeved shirts). last pile, i have 5 pairs of denims and chinos. 3 or 4 easy shorts (in dark blue mostly) and another 2 in dri-fit material. maybe 5 boxer shorts for home. there are other seasonal items in my closet (stored separately) but these here are generally my go-to day wear to work (shoots, meeting with agency or clients, even sorta formal events — i just put on a cardigan over my cotton shirt and im good).

ps. the 2 stuffed animals in the closet were owned by our dog-baby who passed away 3-4 years ago. and since every time i see this stuffed monkey and cheetah it sparks joy in my heart and im reminded of pogiboybabyroobabydog all the time so i still keep them in there, on hangers. there is another stuffed banana toy of pogi’s kept safe in my props boxes in storage. hehe. *tear.

capsule wardrobe. that apparently is what i have. cheers!


see? im almost always in black. have you figured out what your Look is?