i cant really explain it but for the last two months, i always have vivid dreams right before i wake up.

every day.

carlo and i get to bed at maybe 10 or 11PM every night. before sleeping we usually watch a few youtube videos (conspiracy theories, erwann’s wonderful featr videos, or pimple-popping or ingrown nail surgeries) or binge-watch series from netflix (superstore), prime video (the boys), or disney (watching encanto the nth time) . we start to really sleep around 2 or 3AM and i know i often have to get up to pee around 4 or 5AM (and sometimes because i need to tuck frida back in her blanket when she returns from peeing in the kitchen).

this means i start dreaming maybe 6 or 7AM. and i kinda wake up at 8am and then when i drift back to sleep for another hour, my dream transitions to another episode or a totally different movie. most of the time these 2 months, my dreams involve work, either preparing to shoot or actual filming. cast of characters differ everyday but involves family, friends, and even a few celebrities (tony danza, wtf).

locations are also very varied and strange and more often than not, i havent been to those in real life BUT it feels very familiar and nostalgic, like a cousin’s house or a childhood classroom. like there was a dream that i was at home (it felt like my house and my bedroom etc) but visually, the house was sprawling and ive never been in anything like it BUT it looked like a home in indonesia and a mix of blumentritt (my lola’s old house), the gusa house (of my tito), and our house in rer. it just feels comfortable. ive never been to indonesia.

sometimes, i tend to be running around doing tasks for a shoot the next day, and im meeting with my sisters or cousins at the same time and swimming in weird pools (if those pools were in brazil or mexico) or beside my high school (if my school was sliced in the middle by a huge earthquake and looked like a coliseum in italy). sometimes i go around a maze of rooms trying to find my artdep staff and chance upon other university friends who need to ride on a big off-road vehicle and all the lighting in the rooms are purple and im suddenly holding a meeting in another side of the metro.

the other day, i dreamt my penis bled while i was asleep so i had like dark dried rings of blood on my arms from trying to cover my erect uncircumcised penis (im circumcised irl) and i was going around my house without pants but all sorts of guests kept arriving. and id just cover my groin with my hands (i dont know why i didnt just dress up haha).

every day i dream of crazy situations that feel like a 90-minute movie or a 1-time episode or spin-off. when i wake up, i try to remember the dream. id try to tell carlo about them but im left with just fragments and the more i partake of my morning coffee, the less i remember what transpired.

so, later when i sleep it’s another opportunity to dream, right? till then. cheers!