the past month, ive been doing a lot of cleaning. before i left for mindanao, we cleaned out the back area in katipunan, throwing away old baskets, bottles, boxes, even a dried up rat carcass. in cagayan de oro, i cleared out my closets of junk and began to organize the whole mezzanine bodega. one closet now contains mostly old decor from the 80s, the other contains books. one closet houses my cousin’s stuff and another, my sister’s sentimental junk. in the end i had about 3 balikbayan boxes of old clothes ready for sharing/giving away/selling/burning, 2 boxes of old shoes, and 1 with old bags. i filled up my big orocan trashbin 6 times!

this extended back to manila when i took time to sift through my boxes of old papers, readings, books and magazines. design magazines went to 1 pile, fashion to another, movie mags another. i threw out old issues and some i would probably not read again. overall i filled up a big sack of papers for throwing and another box of readings that can be recycled.

in lots of ways, the practice of cleaning up is therapeutic and by ridding material extensions of myself, it is spiritually cleansing as well. if i cant organize and clean out my room, how well can i fix my life? i need to identify new goals and plot out my life’s direction.  routinary actions and unhealthy habits need to be recognized and changed i.e. my spending lifestyle is not parallel to my earning capacity or how my mother raised me up to be, im spending more than i can afford and i dont care anymore.

i used to be ambitious, full of dreams and ideas.  now, i just went through a really bad burn-out, my grandmother and my dog died, im jaded about most things and indifferent to the rest.  yet, the world continues to change and we’re starting to feel the effects of climate change; the world is going down as we speak. we’re all getting older, my skin is breaking out every week and my midsection gets wider every month.  im only 32, for crying out loud!  i need to make the most of life before we fall off the face of the earth.

time to take out the trash yet again.