Category Archives: musings

musings

10 days after

here is the 5-question interview from poninski she posted for me. if you wanna join the game hit me.

1. if your life story was going to be filmed, who would you want to play you?yul brynner. no young actor is interesting enough or would look good bald 🙂 also, all of them look like they came off the same mill plant. maybe jericho rosales could audition for that but he would be too old to play me by the time the film gets produced. we’ll get a CG yul brynner to act and speak bisaya and sing RENT for me hehehe

2. what’s your most embarassing childhood experience?my whole childhood was embarassing! kidding aside i dont remember any, probably i already had them mind swiped

3. what’s your ultimate dream bathroom? 🙂
ive always been fascinated by bathrooms. it’s the most taken-for-granted room in the house. and you’d be surprised a lot of people dont give much notice to how their bathrooms are planned. i prefer a well-lit bathroom, good enough for reading. segregated areas for wet and dry activities (what do you mean by that? hehehe) a couch to make chitchat with your family while you trim your nose hairs on the cantilevered silver sink. house plants to make the bathroom more in tune with nature (jungle effect, back to the prehistoric age of toilet training). big windows (better ventilation) without compromising privacy (or if you arent that squeamish anyway).

my ultimate dream bathroom includes a book library, a skylight, a siphon vortex toilet bowl paired with a water saver closet, and hot and cold water piping 🙂 plus a massage shower system.

4. what do you think you’re going to look like ten years from now? (i’ll check this ten years from now if you’re right..hehe)
it’s not unlikely id end up looking like my dad. big tummy. bald head. id just have less arm and leg hairs that’s all. id still be sporting a shaved head, maybe less of a goatee, silver bangles and a few rings, maybe a nose ring. still thin but with bigger tummy, sandals forever, me strutting around fine arts as (hopefully) one of the professors there. sling bags and muslim shawl, the works

5. what’s one characteristic that instantly attracts you to a person?
a particular ease and self-confidence (the sure-of-self kind, the not arrogant type) and a sincerity of character. no pretensions, no hangups, no issues. to go further, one who is open-minded, highly respectful of the existence of others, optimistic and observant, intuitive and introspective. moreover (if i am allowed to go on), knows when to talk up a storm and when to shut up, when to exercise GMRC skills and when to be bastos. follows etiquette rules and knows when to break them.

ok, the key word to the questions is what “instantly” attracts you to a person. i’d say a particular ease and self-confidence (the sure-of-self kind, the not arrogant type) and a sincerity of character.

hehehe

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Now, for the Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

If you don’t have a blog, I can still ask you 5 unique questions in my Comments page, and you can post your answers there.

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musings

long time havent seen will not see

one free day in the otherwise busy world of benjamin padero
today i thought of doing some paperwork at home because i finally got a new computer, one that’s faster (P4 2.4gHz 512mb 120gbHDD) and runs better on winXP than the old one we had (650mHz 64mb 10gbHDD). the previous computer’s been missed but its essence is still in this new one, we’ve hooked up its old modem, HDD and monitor to the new computer, who i lovingly call GEORGE now.

jhem asks me why george? i dunno, it was the first name that came out of my mouth. maybe it came from george of the jungle or george darling (wendy’s father from peter pan) or george from my best friend’s wedding. i dont believe ive met a real george to have any real life connection. it was just one of those things that you feel is right.

next month ill be buying george a capture card, additional RAM, a DVD burner, and new speakers with subwoofer, hopefully to get ready for some editing action. it’s been a few months now since i did that mindanao docu and the film is quite long overdue. by june i will be free to concentrate on that. for now, it’s doing prod design work for “KASAL” (tentative title) directed by my boss dante mendoza. astigin!
sharing comfort food
what do you know of comfort food?

just letting you in on some of my recently acquired comfort food in recent months:
1. Del Monte Four Seasons in 22ml glasses from 7-11

i thing that’s about it, nothing follows. every evening when i come around katipunan i take a hike to 7-11 and get a large juice bubbler for php17. it refreshes me. at least i get some vit.C’s for the day.

i gotta go now. i might be needed in the office. cheers to all!

saving all my love for you
but all that i remember are the dreams in the mist

hi to all my online friends (and off), drei (congrats on new work, new life, new possibilities), poninski!, cuzin edge! sargie (puerto!) andrew, vida (new stalker), rayts (havent been around reading or watching films) cerissa (siargao!), CAM people! mike (update), jm (update), jhem (get online!), jetro (puerto!) guia tomski jaime dennis chuva; family and friends, id like to say hi to my mamayet and papayong! love you guys! sisters mati and ta-an, papi, the kids (especially the kids!) lea laya lukas; church people ronnie (puerto!) cherry (puerto!) noel (puerto!) faisal (central visayas!) astarte (pelikula!) kitty (puerto!) rania (zamboanga!) etc; im babbling. see you soon guys! im gonna be ubber busy in MAY! WHOLE MONTH! wish me luck! Luck! 🙂 cheerios!

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musings, travel

cruising down the freeway in the hot hot sun

a journey through latin america on a bike

watching walter salles’ the motorcycle diaries, i couldnt help but be reminded of my travels through mindanao between september to november of last year. and although my two-month something trip pales in comparison to che gueverra’s 8-month eye-opening medical mission, i also had my fair share of eccentric characters, majestic landscapes, life-changing moments and dusty roads on habal-habal.

yes, my very own motorcycle diaries. read all about it.

the cinematography of salles’ film is great, the film explores beautiful stretches of latin land, picturesque views of the countryside and a grim but real image of poverty, suffering, hope and yearning for a better world and a better life. the music is underscored beautifully. gael works wonders with his performance. one would think he was too handsome for his own good, but gael knows how to handle that and it never becomes a hindrance. i would love to see this film again, reminisce of my own past journeys, and dream of more travel through this country. a tourist in your own country i may no longer be.

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my motorcycle diaries

i was inspired by the film to share a few more pictures of my trip down south. i would definitely recommend going around the country. you will realize there is indeed so much beauty here than you could possibly imagine, and so much love and spirit among its inhabitants.

mang bering
manong bering at his house on km14 la paz zamboanga

mang bering has lived on the la paz mountain all his life. he boasts he knows every inch of the mountain and can even trek through it at night without a torchlight. whenever he’d take us out through the woods he’d normally make it difficult for us by not using the footpaths. luckily my companion roland and i were up to it. in the evenings we’d huddle near the hearth in the kitchen and tell tall tales of giant beasts and kapres who protect mang bering and his family while swigging straight tanduay. he’d laugh his heart out and talk to me in a mix of chavacano and ilonggo, and id confirm his statements with bisaya.

the trip up to la paz would take an hour and a half on habal-habal (a motorcycle) from the foot of the mountain all the way up 14 kilometers (hence the name of the station kilometer 14 hehehe how convenient, eh?) the road of course starts off cemented until you pass the 3rd kilometer then all hell breaks loose. to get to the watershed border of the la paz (this area is a buffer zone to the watershed) you have to continue up km26 still on habal-habal. the day we went up were escorted with armed men on convoy. i thought that was rather cool. didnt get a picture though, but i got it all on video.

lake sebu
lake sebu, late afternoon

lake sebu is a municipality in south cotabato, featuring three natural, freshwater (of course) mountain lakes, the biggest being lake sebu. to get to the center of the town we had to travel on motorcycle (habal-habal, the faster alternative to jeepneys) for about an hour from surallah (three hours ata from general santos). most people in this area go around in motorcycles, same as with la paz in zamboanga. it’s the most convenient and cost-effective mode of transportation. deadma, your lamborghini cant do shit on the mountain pare.

this shot was taken from the resort where i stayed for two weeks (on and off). the lake is majestic but the people who live in this ancestral domain is more worthy of attention. their plight to security and livelihood may be paralleled to many like them all over the country but nevertheless as important. talking to a lot of their leaders has opened my eyes to injustices in the world over.

fall-side lunch
robert, nelson and a kid guide

watershed falls at lake sebu south cotabato to get to this waterfalls at the tip of the lake sebu mountain in south cotabato, we had to walk through the rainforest. it took roughly around an hour to two hours depending on how fast you can crawl through mud and rock, under canopies of giant ferns and shrubs. if you were lucky enough you would avoid picking up leeches and other bloodsuckers.

the scene in this place is breathtaking, and yes, i almost died here. i slid down the rocky wall that i climbed up on (in my underwear, yeah we took a bath). it was only more than a meter but the experience was something else, my life indeed flashed before my eyes! what stopped me from going all the way down the length of the mountain was my (thankfully) rather long chin.

my companions on motorcycle through the rainforests and ricefields in lake sebu were robert and nelson. nelson is from agusan and is a forestry graduate. robert is from the area and is half-muslim, half-t’boli. despite his mixed heritage, i often told him he’d be the future of his people, having been enlightened by every thing good and bad about their culture. i hope he’ll indeed take his place in the world.

breastfeeding mother
mother from the ubo tribe nursing her child

we visited the house of an ubo datu and almost never came out alive! we were asked to wait near the house and because my friend didnt stop me from my actions, i went ahead taking pictures of the house and the residents. we were able to talk to the lady of the house and one of her daughters. suddenly this rag near me (suspended from the ceiling) started to shake. then water began streaming out from under the rag. what i originally thought was a bag of clothes turned out to be a baby cradle! the mother was amused that i was caught unaware. later she began nursing him and i silently took a picture before turning my attention to the grandmother who began chewing betel nuts.

perya scene
perya at the poblacion during the week-long fiesta in lake sebu

i was lucky to have visited lake sebu during the height of its municipal festival. in the evenings the poblacion (sentro) was in full swing with kiddie rides, videoke booths, and gambling tables. we’d normally take a stroll, eat at the carinderia that serves a healthy serving of grilled chicken and swap stories of personal histories, philosophies and theories on life and development of the native race over red horse. will the drinking never end? 🙂


y’egas, extraordinary t’boli artist

had a grand time listening to y’egas sing! the t’bolis normally tell tales and histories through song and i had the opportunity to hear y’egas recount the death of their datu chieftain, speak of the beauty of lake sebu, and detail a local epic by singing. and yes, she sang in her native tongue so i didnt understand a thing. but man, her eyes, they will render you helpless and mesmerized. she has cast her spell on you and you cant resist but do her every bidding.

y’egas and her family
y’egas (& the t’boli tribe) amused at seeing herself on video

here is an interesting scene of the tribes people up close with technology. although they are not ignorant to the sight of tourists with their cameras, it’s a different experience altogether when they get to hold it and see themselves on the camera. and here, y’egas was watching and listening to herself. everybody were highly amused.

ben in the mountains mode
picture taken during one of those foggy mornings in la paz zamboanga. me with my walking stick, my videocam, and a raincoat ready for a drizzle or a trip through the rainforest.

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musings

here are pics i took of myself using a holga 120, a gift from cuzin tootsie. im still on experimenting the medium format camera, and so far ive used only 35mm daylight film. my self portrait. a lot of people told me i look like my brother-in-law in the last pic, others asked when this was taken (last december) because i looked fat daw, and most ran away screaming (scary daw hehehe). still some liked the bulletin board background of my sister (with the justice league stuff) more than my bald head. sabi nga ni ricky davao sa “bayaning third world,” kanya-kanyang rizal.

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musings

stereotyped!

stereotyped!
“what the…?”

this isnt the first time it happened. one incident i was riding a taxi from katips to mandaluyong. the young taxi driver then began to strike up a conversation. apparently he was learned and well-read (if you consider “the da vinci code” as serious reading). ewan, tamad mag-aral, he said he could have been one of the office people. now he just drives office people to their office.

then he asks me stuff about drawing. he assumes i was an artist designer, he goes on asking me about the stuff i do. i ask him, na-oobvious bang “artist” ako? he said, yes (as clear as day). although i laughed off his assumption (considering it’s true) i wasnt all too jolly about the stereotype.

recently one of the prod staffs at a shoot we did during the weekend asks me if i were “indeed” from the up fine arts (“taga up fine arts ka, diba?”). i said yes. he tells me he knew a lot of people there. later i ask him how’d he know i was from up, being curious as to who perhaps could be a mutual friend or if we’ve met before in the campus. he then tells me i look like somebody from there.

ano ba?!

ive nothing against goatees (esp unruly ones). nothing against my bald head (ive been shaving off my hair since the summer of 1993, a few months earlier before richard gomez came out and sported the same style– and then everybody went skinhead). nothing against weird clothing, silver rings, bracelets or black tshirts. but come on, ive fallen into a type.

despite my appearance, i could also be a musician, or one of those bohemian junkee types. but ive gotten myself into a visual trap. i dont really mean to look like some artiste, it’s comes with the environment and the background (and maybe even the vibes we emit, or the color of our auras). i feel like some pathetic wannabe, desperate for confirmation and attention. im no f*****’ mascot!

maybe i should grow some hair and wear a coat and tie. or not.

now i know how jollibee feels. without effort, everybody knows he’s the jolly bug because of that cool, orange blazer he wears.

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googling with glee

“have you ever googled yourself?”

last sunday we quasi-celebrated jeh’s birthday dinner at congo grill. she was born on a leap year and thus doesnt have a real birthday every four years. it is a running joke on those born like her as to when theyd celebrate their birthdays every year.

company found lorybeth astarte jeh her friend francine (did i get that right?) ronnie and atty lyman manzano (the last name, for purposes of googling). we arrived late at timog and i missed most of the sinigang (paubos na when we got there) and im a sucker for sinigang.

after dinner we killed time at seattle’s best because it had wifi. thus the googling ang giggling. really, have you ever googled yourself? masturbation at its best, or worse depends on the outcum. you should try it, you might enjoy yourself 😉

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filmmaking, musings

here’s a picture of me taken last thursday (feb 18) while on a break during a shoot at our garden studio in mandaluyong. the wall behind me was built, which i supervised, for the shoot. it was a replica of a real wall found in korea, and this was made out of plywood, styrofoam, and painted in cement. eto trabaho ko. astig.

that’s rajie at the far end and another carpenter, working on a signage props for this shoot. he’s the head setman/ artist of my boss (dante mendoza). he’s muslim and that has brought a particular connection of understanding between us, natives from native mindanao. originally my boss thought i was muslim also, seeing that rajie and i spoke the same language at times and we seem to understand each other clearly. that and the fact that i sport a billy goat’s goatee and a tubao or an arabian’s headgear (yung red!). he’s also deaf in one ear and we have to either talk out loud in front of him or speak clearly in his good ear.

we took photographs of korean talents in winter clothes, running through fake snow (styrofoam and rock salt). it was very hot that afternoon and the koreans werent exactly enjoying having to act as if they were freezing in impossibly hot weather. oh well, the things you have to do for a chance to be on the papers hehehe

also, we shot in the ayala underpass that evening. earlier i took digital pictures without permission and the guard on duty bounced on me and was raving mad. he was also badly scared. i wondered why he was so angry. i reckoned he would be more friendly if a tourist or a pretty girl were doing that. i later realized i looked like some terrorist (haha) and this happened when the ayala bus bombing was still fresh on everyone’s minds. cheers! 🙂

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laundry therapy, movies

the punjab lasso

keeping your hands at the level of your eyes

i reread the libretto today and it explained why we keep our hands at the level of our eyes. thus reads:
GIRY: But remember: your hand at the level of your eyes!
RAOUL: but (hu-)why…?
GIRY: Why? The Punjab lasso, monsieur. First Buquet. Now Piangi.
MEG (holding up her hand): Like this, monsieur. I’ll come with you.
GIRY: No, Meg! No, you stay here!
(to Raoul): Come with me, monsieur. Hurry, or we shall be too late…

this part of the song wasnt included in the film thus a lot were confused, myself included, with the significance of the action. of course Buquet was talking about the magic lasso in the middle of the first act but that didnt explain much. in the stage version the lasso would magically suspend itself in mid-air (that’s how it caught raoul in the underground lair).

enough talk about lassos and opera ghosts.

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today’s a day off thank God. it gave me the opportunity to do the rest of my laundry, which consists mostly of sheets and towels. now i can change my bedspreads and sleep on freshly washed cotton sheets. the beauty of washing machines and spin dryers. i bet you havent thanked God they were invented 🙂 it’s about time you do.

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musings

letters to digital friends

here’s a YM chat record i sent to cuzin tootsie (bohomo) while she was offline:

Date: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 05:45:45 +0800
From: “- 2tC -” teptep@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: ey
To: “Asante sana squash banana” paderewski@yahoo.com

hehe..juker kaayo ka thir…unsa na balita karon? so back to katips naka?

paderewski@edsamail.com.ph wrote:

You currently appear invisible to teptep.

paderewski: hoy mata na! im bored tutay. as in. been in cagayan since christmas. walay gakahitabo sa akong life diri. waiting for paolo tiangco to contact me regarding racket sa bukidnon. video docu. we have yet to talk again. he lost his phone man gud. no way to contact him. only by email. and he hasnt replied yet. meanwhile i lay wasted and restless. if by the end of the week he doesnt contact me ill borrow money and make my way back to manila where things happen.

paderewski: hay

paderewski: listening to accuradio classical music on the net. it’s comforting but the p20/hour rate here is insane. and im broke.

paderewski: i should just have written these down an email

paderewski: but i find this convenient

paderewski: im in dvsoria, to escape from blumentritt and rer. seeking solace in an internet cafe with badaircon but their headphone’s great

paderewski: the connection’s pretty fast, hence my fascination with radio on the net.

paderewski: wanna write and produce a film but ive no money to pull through with it. the irony of creativity and financial capability. sure you can come up with something with nothing. but my type of stuff just happens to grow only around papernotes from the central bank of the philippines

paderewski: i smell coffee. great, newly brewed coffee. i miss katipunan and my life in UP, full of hopes and dreams and the idea that everything’s possible and things do happen. things are not just happening to me here in cagayan. and im so friggin bored

paderewski: speak to me. wake up. wake up. hey. yo! oy! oy! btw, i bought a copy of bridget jones’s diary yesterday, to add to my collection of british comedy that i love (including a boy’s life)

paderewski: ill probably post this conversation again into an email so you wont miss any of my angst ridden moment in cyberspace. i do take comfort in the net, and my online friends. i miss all of them. and the bigger world out there, out of here.

paderewski: currently listening to an instrumental piece by, would you believe, elvis costello. and it’s pretty good. title’s “the identity parade” and it plays like a 60’s tv show

paderewski: been surfing through myspace this afternoon and hey, wait. gotta get off the net now. im running p40 on my tab and that’s already pretty scary, considering im broke. ive like less than p800 to last me till i get to my next racket. and if i were in manila, i wouldnt even have time to stay on the net. that

paderewski: that’s irony for you

paderewski: and im wealthy (supposedly) in manila

paderewski: taxi fare’s so way up, flagdown is p30 and so i spend p150 from the office to the house. that’s why ive resorted to commuting when i can or have the energy to do so.

paderewski: what can i do here in cagayan? any ideas? even the supposed atmosphere in may’s dos isnt doing any good. i might as well get some coffee and hang out at the capitol.

paderewski: hey, macarthur park’s getting shaped up by the government and it’s really amazing, theyre doing such a good job at beautifying the place. the capitol building is back with white paint, adn the little fishpond in teh front is unfenced, just like when we were kids

paderewski: theyve tiled up the pathways and planted new carabao grass all over. theyve even built cement picnic benches. might send pics soon

paderewski: gotta go, im running 2hours14mins here and i still have to buy tita an her vitamin c’s. i guess she caught the bug as i did. will stop over the dvd area and exchange the “love actually” we purchased yesterday because it was running on PAL system.

paderewski: alright, cheerio and see you soon!

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