Category Archives: musings

food trip, musings

today had been a good day. despite the intense heat i really had a great time. around 10 in the morning faisal alih came by the house and we went out to brother’s burger to eat their coño burgers. my friends from FA came to the house to resume work on the book we currently want to get off our hands. we did much today, and the book’s almost done except that we dont have money to have it printed. anyhow that didnt dampen my spirit today although it was still something we thought about the whole day. in the afternoon tootsie came home after getting her yearbook (she’s graduating earlier than i am — sigh) and we had a fun time looking through really great creative poses and okra-izing the really crappy ones too.

i left the house at 6 to meet up with pk and ronnie and we had a short meeting of sorts at the church. although before i left the house i cooked dinner pk, ron, and i went out to eat. butch later followed at the khas food stop where we ate. i had keema with chicken (they ran out of squid) and three cups of rice. then when we were heading for home and i was about to queue in for the katipunan jeep gemini texted me obviously wanting companionship for a lonely friday night. ron had to go to his frat’s party so gem was my date tonight. we went to gayuma and had coffee. i “unburdened” to gem all my travails in the past two weeks of work and play. later on ron caught up with us as we left the cafe. we hung out at the expresso in the strip (bad bad benjamin) and heard an earful from ronnie about my career options. now im home again, tired but still working. and still hungry. however i have to work on this graphic novel project. nevertheless im taking this break to “unburden” my baggage for tonight so that tomorrow i can fully enjoy life’s new blessings.

gracias ginoo

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musings

ghost

the patrick swayze movie, “ghost,” is currently being shown in hbo. although we sat through that a week ago, we’re still watching it. i really dont know why. it’s actually one of those movies that you loved as a kid then find out much later in your life that it’s really crappy, kinda like kevin costner’s robin hood. we really went crazy over that movie thinking kevin of locksley was one cool hero and patrick swayze was a really cool, romantic ghost movie person thing. after 10 years or so you go back and watch these films and think what the…? the acting of kevin costner was really crappy as is patrick swayze’s. all is not lost though.

there are still things about those movies that make them worthwhile to go back to– at least on those moments when they actually appear onscreen. whoopi goldberg is really great in ghost, she’s so funny and made her character so memorable that even years after i saw i still remember that the account number of rita miller is 926-31043. she deserved that oscar she got in ghost. as for the robin hood film, morgan freeman was great. then again, he’s always good in movies he is in despite of kevin costner or some other leading actor he has to contend with. here’s a quote from ghost for you:

“Name, please?”
“Rita Miller.”
“And your account number?”
“(whisper)926…”
“926,”
“(whisper)31-0-43.”
“…31-0-43.”
“Well, Ms. Miller. It looks like you’ll be withdrawing four million dollars today.”
“Four million dollars?!!!”
“Is that correct?”
“(whisper) Say yes. Say yes!”
“Yes….yes….”
– Bank accountant, Rita, and Sam,
“Ghost”

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it’s thursday and i found time to do my laundry. on account that i couldn’t be in the house long enough to do it, my pile of dirty clothes has now reached a peak of a meter and it’s been about a month since my last washing day. congratulate me on this; it’s not easy balancing out domestic chores and really wild, time-consuming, mind-boggling, physically challenging, emotionally stressing academic requirements. grabe na.

we’re rushing the artwork of a comic book my group is doing, hoping to meet the midweek deadline we’ve set next week, and we have to do it in dennis’ house since he’s the one who’s got the scanner. then the files we’ve scanned are sent to mike’s so that he could color them in adobe. then later it’s in my house where we’ll layout our pages and burn it to cd so that we could send it to the printer’s in psd format. the creative and production process sounds easy but the logistical considerations are a nightmare and we don’t even have money to fund this venture yet. none of the companies we’ve contacted have returned call. and i as group leader, will have to carry all this and some as part of my responsibilities. heaven, help me.

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i cant explain it, i cant give you details but here’s what i have to say: God is Good!!! you know i feel like im african american and am raisin’ my hands up to the sky and praisin’ an’ singin’ tha’ God is good! man, ah can feel it in mah bones an in mah head an in mah h’art ah know God is merciful and God is worthy to be praised and good ol’ God loves me and he loves ya too. he has delivered me from sin and from all my anxieties and now ah’m just floatin ‘roun those big dark clouds up the’e in the skah. mmmm mmm mmmm! God is good!!! hallelujah! 🙂

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faisal alih’s thesis

a few weeks ago i helped out my friend faisal on his architectural thesis. he and his group mate, jigs, were working on geothermal design, specifically on subterranean structures in the sierra madre UP campus. about a week prior to their presentation and defense before a jury panel i stayed nights over at their house.

i suddenly found myself in “arki” mode as i helped conceptualize and critiqued structures, drew perspectives (chamba perspektib) of hypothetical buildings, theorized on design concepts and stuff, working working working with only coffee and pancit canton keeping me up. all that i had left behind since i shifted to fine arts came back to me: getting all exhausted working out a good design, falling asleep and waking up to realize that your hand is still sketching that nth floor plan, the madness of theories and considerations of end users, getting all windang from too much of everything and talking nonsense to your fellow workers until you drop of exhaustion and then waking up early the next morning because you have to finish your work for that afternoon’s deadline, stuff like that. it was scary in a way.

needless to say i still had fun, people made all the difference. i met all my old classmates (most of who, by the way, have graduated and are now working in top architectural firms in manila). and of course largely because i was able to help faisal with his thesis. now ive my closure with architecture. i may perhaps have left arki hastily (in a way), i was desperate to leave lest i rot in the course just because i couldnt ‘do’ the math subjects. i found my place in fine arts and it’s great there. i never asked myself how i would have been if i were back in architecture but that opportunity to help in faisal’s thesis prodded me to answer it. i thank God im no longer in that program because i am now really sure i didnt want to be there in the first place. perhaps i could have pulled through it (faisal says problema ko lang talaga sa arki ay yung math) but i have it better in fine arts. ill leave arki to the arkiteks. 🙂

last note on that, despite everything id like to mention here the people who made my arki experience a memorable and endurable one: fai, buds, sammy, jerome, paolo, jing, suzette, addie, odie, cor, aida (sorry girls i missed helping you out in your thesis), mang charlie, jeck, nina, malaya, jet, nap, jigs, mickey, kitty (id), sir nick, sir joven, dean fernandez (dean parin tawag kahit hindi na dean pero yun pa rin ang tawag) and the countless others ive failed to mention. cheers!

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jehboy birthday

i just came from jehgirl’s birthday dinner earlier this evening (yesterday). actually she was born on the 29th of feb and so she didnt exactly had a day to celebrate technically this year. i text messaged her on the 28th greeting her advanced happy birthday. a half hour later (when midnight had passed) i text messaged belated happy birthday. it must be hard having to wait for the leap year event just so you could really be celebrating on the 29th. hap hap jeh!

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a week ago i went to see hibik at himagsik ni victoria laktaw, a filipino musical running in the wilfredo ma. guerrero theater in UP. the book was written by bienvenido lumbera and the play was directed by sir alex cortez.

it was great, im a sucker for most musicals by the way. the singing was great, but im just bowled over by the performance of aggie barredo who was playing a supporting role. i know her from church and she’s just amazing! nazer was also there playing her partner and they’re both fantastic together. the lead who played tianong and her love interest were good too but im still kinda hooked up on aggie’s performance. anyway i also love the set and lights of the play. the guy who did the lights, voltaire, is way cool. we used his equipment to light up our concert in church last year. the set by salvador bernal was really simple and really effective; it opens like a book and frames a lot of areas on the stage.

the staging was really simple and really effective. i just didnt like the americans with flags as masks on. the fil-am who played this certain soldier was a hoot! he obviously had the accent down pat and his delivery was good but he didnt know what to do when he wasnt saying anything. anyway i thought he was funny (in a good way). the singing was great, of course. butch de juan was musical director of that musical.

sir, congrats bai, salute ko nimo! 🙂 anyway, i was able to watch the gala performance so all the production people were there and at the end of the show they joined the cast on stage, including sir alex, sir lumbera, kuya butch kuya butch (suportahan mo ako ha?), salvador bernal (prod design), voltaire, etc. etc. in the audience present were laurice guillen, marilou diaz-abaya, johnny manahan, doreen fernandez, anton juan, tony mabesa and other luminaries of both stage and screen.

it was a wonderful night notwithstanding there was food also. i raided the buffet table and had two plates of pancit and even had the ‘honor’ of serving pancit to behn cervantes. 🙂 anyway that was my first meal for that day. needless to say i was still hungry afterwards….

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yesterday my groupmates and i were able to shoot the first part of our lord of the rings adventure. this is part of our projects in making up a press kit and posters for class. despite my really really being lazy lazy that afternoon we dragged ourselves out of the fine arts cono canteen (as how it is now called because prices are so way high and lots of conos eat there, haha nasama na ata kami dun) to head for the fields of UP. we shot the whole afternoon and thank God kathryn eckstein was there to become our impromptu photographer and be photographed also as Legolas. anyway i do hope our efforts would pay off, we’re going to see some of the prints today. do wish us well in God’s graces

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im funny i guess.  i have problems then im ok.  then i have problems then im ok.  just days ago i was ranting on how insignificant ive become and how lazy ive gotten.  swimming in my quagmire of growing pains and hangups and pressing personality and human being-ness issues i have been so much in so little time, and what i went through does not even equal to a fraction the sorrow and grief an average man suffers with.  now ive come into some light and climbing out of my backyard pool of depression, i live. 

let me share to you snippets of an email i sent my friend (actually it’s more of like the whole email): [start quote] in the last so many weeks i was losing sight of self-worth and it’s scary in a way.  i dreaded the feeling that i wasnt contributing to the majority of the human race and any day now i will be forgotten into oblivion.  im finally getting over that and a movement of sorts is slowing picking me up.  the counselling seminar has been interesting and helpful. i attended basically to learn more about human behavioral patterns than to actually be able to counsel, knowing that one cannot be an effective counsellor after only 9 saturdays, that i do not fantasize about.  of course in situations requiring my own common sense, empathy and a little of what i learned i can be of greater help.  i just remembered my family.  true i love them and i am part of them but i recognize the fact that i am not them.  i am not my father and i am not my mother.  i cannot always be this statistic in the family as one, accounted-for nephew or grandchild.  it is very taxing to one’s health, you know. 

transitional persons.  that i wish to differ from generational baggage, stereotypes, curses and destructive, unnecessary movements or patterns is a much greater hope for me as a family member and a person than just having to graduate and being financially equipped to live a so-called fruitful life.  besides one has to ask there what they mean by fruitful.  or successful.  we christians define success differently.  (i just suddenly grew apprehensive on my summer vacation this year because ill be staying in cagayan for a month and a half again and i dont know if last summer’s slacking off disease will kick in again…)  there is a movement in my life now and no doubt i take it as a leading from the Lord.  i have been praying he would… “lead” me out of whatever quagmire ive put myself into.  i see there is still much hope in my life and just by living it would justify the reason for all the blessings and graces given.  [end quote]  God bless y’all.

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it is 4 minutes after my last entry and im still wide awake. perhaps i should just watch the 2nd disc of casablanca. i started watching it two days ago and havent finished it. i borrowed that disc from jm about a week ago. i still have american history x, frequency, and the whole nine yards queued up for screening. unfortunately ive been too lazy (as ive expounded in the previous entry) to watch them. at least i was productive today: excited to do our lord of the rings photo shoot i left the house this morning with all sorts of clothing and my camera paraphernalia stuffed in my gigantic duffel bag only to find out later on that my other groupmates werent prepared for it. fine, i say. anyway i finally got to finish the first book today and saw the movie for the 3rd time two days ago. now i can get on with my life!

ill resume storyboarding this book we’re trying to do, and reading up alamat’s stone the awakening to learn more of the finer stuff of philippine literature. then ill be meeting the guys to finalize details of these two huge projects and i have to detail my life for the next two months coz it’s gonna be one heck of a time. it is 3:35, maybe ill just finish casablanca now. id probably be done in an hour’s time.

later in the morning morning i have to wake up ta tems at 5:30, meanwhile ill go back to sleep and get up for a counselling seminar at 9:30. choir practice is at 1-3, which i might be missing due to the aforementioned seminar, oldies meeting at 6 to 9, then attend a debut birthday party at cravings wherein the invitation stated it starts at 6 thus id be missing out the food and games at the beginning. dang!

anyway, happy birthday socs, even if i know you wouldnt probably get to read this coz only cuzin edge surfs through my site and is aware of any changes to it. besides i didnt really announce to people ive been writing up on it in the first place. do i have to? question is, do i want to? to be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows… arrows… bow… legolas… frodo… ring… lord… ayan na naman!!! stop, benjamin! i have passed the test. i will diminish and go to the west, and remain… bentoy

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