Category Archives: musings

musings

decided to make this all simple for this month, my life’s been too much of a rush and i havent been having the time to do anything much. at least i can easily update you with stories using a stress free template 🙂

and oh yeah, im running on times new roman, one of my least favorite type faces, mainly because we’ve been using it since windows came out and the romans at it since well, you get it.

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ive been busy back at work, or have i told you that? the last time i wrote i think i was still in cagayan. been in manila since the beginning of february. when i got back at the office we already had a shoot for smart communications. just yesterday we finished this other pictorial with korean talents. nahurot akong korean english no! “ok, where you now? you in taxi? you go there stay aircon room. you this, you that, sit down read. you others extras like korean winter.” they understood me perfectly.

it was a lot of fun, and i got home early and with my weekend free, which is great. in this line of work, you dont get weekends free. you dont have an 9-6 clock in time like the rest of the labor workforce slaving in 4sq.m. blue grey cubicles like lab rats on observation. i work 21hour days for 7days with no assurance that i could watch movies because youre just gonna doze off anyway from fatigue.

but the work is interesting and fun, i get to go out in the sun, walk the streets of dvsoria or down the aisles of airconditioned malls, stay in the office for hours, or long hours in production studios during shoots. thus i remain.

but i have others plans still. i wanna study again, do a film, write a book, publish, produce, create, act, perform, etc. etc. and it seems my boss is open enough to let me do these things.

btw my boss’s company will now soon be a real company. we already got a name and pretty soon, maybe IDs! how exciting! hehehe and then we can now call ourselves a production house probably. astig.

enough about work.

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musings

lost in translation

i feel like im in some limbo, confused and anxious. restless nga diba? yesterday to save myself from boredom, i went out with my cuzins for some beers to drown out my sorrows. wow. drinking to forget problems? never really did that. yeah i drink but only to heighten cognitive processing and flavor discourses with inspired (spirited), enlightened visions and viewpoints. so anyway, the night air was cool and crisp, the atmosphere set with music by brit artists, and we spent most of the time lamenting on the state of our praise and worship bands. eh?

my relationship with the peoples on mindanao country is both comforting and alien at the same time. my existence here is temporary at best. i wouldnt want to explain, my migraine’s kicking up mainly due to the caramel chocolate cake we had at bigby’s this afternoon.

while cruising down the aisles of the ororama grocery area, cuzin maylin and i chanced upon hairdyes and i bought a packet of black dye to try on doing tattoos, pretty much like what youd do with henna. i then spent the better part of the late evening painting my left hand with t’boli inspired designs that ran from halfway up my fingers all the way down to a little below my wrist.

it’s just unfortunately that i only have one drawing hand. while my whole left hand is covered with ethnic patterns, my right is clean as a slate. talk about being bored. at least i was trying to be creative, using my body as canvas. maybe i should stretch my back on a frame and hang it up the wall. that might be too hannibalistic.

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movies, musings

happy new year

hi all. finally afforded some time to update on the how-now browncows of me. im in mindanao and looking forward to doing this documentary for bukidnon. unfortunately my contact lost his cellphone and the only way to contact him is through email, and im almost never online as i used to.

so, “how now, browncow?” well, i just finished working on my boss’s film. it might not see light in local theaters as it is slated for an international release. i havent finished my docus in lake sebu and la paz zamboanga. im paranoid about wasting time in mindanao. i wanna go study abroad but i am clearly not viable to finance myself. i wanna get a laptop so i can be mobile.

looking forward to phantom of the opera the film. id think it will be a fascinating experience. for the mmff, ive seen only panaghoy sa suba, which i enjoyed, and happy together, which was, for lack of a more smarter term, stupid.

ive seen the documentary on the making of star wars from the bonus dvd disc of the original trilogy. am giving it to fanatic cuzin patsy for xmas.

i will be updating my page for real once i get back in manila. ill be following the template i used in about me, and might keep it that way for around 3 months, much like when i kept the balot embryo/these dreams templates for months.

im broke but im happy.

i miss my online friends. havent made chika or left notes and comments to them. i feel so removed since i havent really been online for months. since november. i havent recovered from supposed separation anxiety. i have my issues with this particular unintentional withdrawal. it’s driving me nuts!

i feel this is rather temporary. im bound for greater things yet my life is at a standstill, ready to take the plunge but not quite. a lot of things are missing. does time matter? perhaps. opportunities are nothing as long as i stay in mindanao. it’s a trap i dont have the energy to break out of too.

my life was at a roll until january seeped in. now i have lots of pending jobs and things are piling up. and i dont have the will to let things happen. or stop it from happening. things might get worse. and ive no idea what’s taking place.

how hard can life get?

a picture cesar hernando, my professor, took while in prague. when he realized ive been using paderewski for my domain name and email names, he gave me this copy. i learned about paderewski when i was a child. one of my dad’s various classical albums contained a recording of a waltz by paderewski, a polish diplomat turned pianist. my aunt, tabexs, commented on paderewski, it resembling the family surname, padero. years later, while in search of a name for my first email address (back in 1997 i presume) i remembered that recording, hence i started using paderewski.

the use of “unburdening my digital soul” was inspired by the film, “the matrix.” as i am clearly not out of it, i am in fact still slave to the machine, and since i would in effect dream electronic sheep and simulate environments that are of the virtual world, then what i know of myself is artificial. and perhaps my soul also is. although ive surrender to the God almighty, i may be conscious only of my digital soul, which rants and raves every so often. and to lay down my weary self on electrons, i unburden myself the only way i know.

enough blabber for now. i wish you all a joyous year ahead, i pray your goals and ambitions be fulfilled and may God be glorified always. oh yes, Lord do forgive us all. cheers to you Lord, you are indeed the greatest.

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musings

yeah im back

sorry havent updated you on the last leg of my mindanao trip, im still pretty racked up about having to leave the place. im still speechless, cant express myself fully about how beautiful the whole place is and what a wonderful time i had while doing the documentary. as soon as i can i will write about it.

anyway, yes im back in manila. arrived monday morning ready for work. will be meeting my boss today pa lang though. and im going to cebu tomorrow for one of his projects, will be back in manila by the evening (wow, jetsetter daw! hwahaha). im still have other projects i need to finish: edit the docus i did in la paz, zamboanga and in lake sebu, south cotabato, finish the script of the uccp youth choir christmas cantata, write a script for the reception of a friend’s wedding, and sleep. 🙂 oh yes, eat too.

gotta go. my boss texts me just now he’s to meet me in aurora ave at 11.30. it’s 10.50 and i havent bathe yet. cheers!

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musings

taggies

hey all to you taggie people:rayts, im on blogger temporarily while im out of manila. when i have time ill work on html again for my pages 🙂 in the meantime, just enlarge your text viewing size or something hehehe

poink123! sayang i had to log off almost immediately when i caught you online. anyhu hope to see you soon! love this song too, it’s such a happy song although ive no idea what it’s about hahaha

hey cuzinedge! yeah, i havent gotten to scanning my pics yet. and im working on film since i got here (almost no digital pics except for one pic of me hehehe which ill be using to change my profile pic). update ka na din no! 🙂 see ya soon!

macb! hey! ill be back in manila around nov, but it looks like i might be extended for a few more weeks than expected. but im having the time of my life, riding on deluxe buses in the middle of the night for 14 hours while battling the elements and fatigue, seeing this side of the philippines, taking 30 peso tricycle rides and interneting on islands, conversing with different languages and still making sense. crazy world! im so blessed hehehe praise the Lord!

darlene and carla! hello you both! hope to see you soon at crl!

artistmonk, how come i sound better when im traveling? do i make sense even? hehehe where are you right now? im just glad i still have this outlet to let the world know that im enjoying every minute of God’s opportunities for growth and creative chuvas.

kimchiboi, when are you coming back to the pinas? zambo is interesting but im enjoying the mountains more. and yeah, i also cant wait for gensan’s lake sebu. they said it’s the best! and im still climbing more mountains there! hehehe

drei! i WILL ukay again in baguio soon. in the meantime im checking out zambo, gensan, cagayan de oro, butuan, surigao, and cubao muna hehehehe hope to see you off your plateau soon. ciao mi amigo!to the rest, have a great week! enjoy! cheers! and God bless!

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musings, travel

cogon market and then some

while dining at my sister’s store, we discussed the much needed redesigning of the shop’s interiors. brainstorming on lighting fixtures, we kinda agreed on utilizing tin cans for lamps and since i supposedly knew what to do i was asked to acquire what was needed for this.

accompanied by my sister (my mother wanted to come along too), off we went to cogon market. walking around we chanced upon this burned down empty lot. it looked interesting enough for a picture so my sister and i trotted through the broken glass and cement debris and had an impromptu pictorial while the ordinary folk of cagayan de oro jeered and cheered as they passed by the street.

we then had some pizzas at giacomino’s, across xavier university (ateneo de cagayan) on corrales street. we dropped off my mom at the hairdresser and then headed to this internet cafe.

perhaps later we’ll be seen at carmen market checking out the ukay ukay, if the rain doesnt stop us from having this afternoon journey through cagayan de oro. three cheers for the restless sojourners.

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movies, musings, travel

lechon galore!

ive been home for about 2 weeks now. and almost every week there will always be a lechon. why is that? 🙂 there always seems to be an abundance and craving for the roasted beast. crispy skin, soft meat, flavorful ribs, creamy brains and luscious legs. if this is heaven then im dead. from high-cholesterol probably.

when i get the pics from siargao scanned ill put them up here. but i havent had time to do that.

ill be in zamboanga next week. coolness! yesterday it was my parent’s anniv (30th) and we spiced up the place by buying a few more flowers than usual and bringing in some candles for the mood. there was wine, which didnt really kick up but we enjoyed it nonetheless. not to be left out was the lechon of course. to counter looming health issues i had a side dish of veggies and a handful of kinilaw (para naa pud fish hehehe).

bought a copy of gus van sant’s “elephant” and paul schrader’s “mishima” yesterday. got my copy of “no man’s land” (ive seen it years ago but always wanted my own copy) and “junk food,” another jap film on violence. was gonna get “ichi the killer” too but i thought ill settle for one violent film at this time. i finally saw “man on the train” two days ago and i liked it. bought the dvd months ago but never had the chance to see it. my dad saw “the princess and the warrior” ahead of me and he liked it. i also introduced him to lars von trier, among others, via nicole kidman’s “dogville.” seen bertollucci’s “the dreamers” and i liked that, it inspired me somehow to get on with my film, whatever that would be. got a few ideas but nothing concrete. im also excited to see if SOM would get off the ground in the summer.

off to cogon for ukay ukay perhaps. i might get myself a new backpack (take a pick, jansport or eastpack for around p350-450) or a pair of jeans. so far i have found any that i liked. might just go for that banana rep surplus at gaisano, which is expensive at 600. i have to look for alternatives. need a pair of shoes too. but with me running low on funds, i might just slippers instead at p150 (can be haggled to p130 i hope or less).

been eating the whole time ive been here. and it’s not very healthy, ive been having Coke again (the drink, silly) and lots of humba (which i have yet to develop resisting). sleep is no problem, im getting a lot of that here. the food’s just crazy. puto everywhere! yum! barbeque and chorizo from the streets. and of course the irresistible (at least for this guy who hasnt had any lechon for the last few months or so) lechon. i gotta go. ciao! maybe on friday there’ll be another of that roasted beast. drool.

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musings

try to remember the time in september

it’s already middle of the month and i havent updated anything. my comp at home is having problems and i dont have time to do any major update. what-more, do an overhaul on my design template. so the easiest for me to go back to my trusty temporary blogger page until i get back home. would that be fine you?

im in mindanao right now, cagayan de oro to be exact. in a few days i might be enjoying the sun down south in zamboanga. by october id be in general santos. this is work, by the way, so dont get me wrong. i will get details later when gemini and i will meet.

ive been sleeping since i got here friday noontime. ive been so tired from work that all id want to do is shut out the world and drift in peaceful slumber. and yes, that’s what ive been doing. ill update you with the projects ive worked on. work’s been real swell, i love the feeling at the end of each shoot, yes, natapos din! that’s the greatest feeling ever. sometimes, the shooting in development is fun, like the recent one we worked on, with dyan castillejo, or a few months ago, with kc conception. there were other horrifying ones and really stressful projects. thank God i survived! 🙂

enough of that, im just killing time and using up my cousin’s internet card. anyway, when i get back home in manila or when i get to use some computer for the whole day ill probably give you a real design update. for now, you will have to contend with blogger 😀 ciao and God bless!

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musings

ok now let’s take a look at the world news. seventy-nine people drowned and two-hundred others were injured when a place crashed just off the coast of rescuers could only hear the desperate screams of the victims as the plane burst into flames… that’s from truth about cats and dogs with dr. abby.

now here’s steve kmetko for news at the local front. it has been confirmed that jacklyn jose will not be appearing in benjamin padero’s film. sources have said she found it too violent and that she doesnt see herself in the role. however, she has recommended another colleague of hers, who in turn is right for the role. susan , the actress who plays the poor mother of mara in the former hit soap opera, mara clara, has agreed to play the role of mother to anton, SALAMIN’s quasi-protagonist. although she has expressed interest, the filmmaker however will only meet her on the actual shooting date.

in other news, benjamin padero has also issued a statement that his webpage is now featuring new photographs of his nephew, lucas maximus, born to his sister tina and her husband clapton. lucas maximus was born july 13 and will be turning 3 months in two weeks time. you may check out his pictures at our website, http://www.geocities.com/paderewski and click on mi familia.

now, we take a look at the weather. today, the sun is brightly shining, moving around it are the planets. it is a medium-sized star and presently, because of the sun, the day is very hot. good time to do your month-long overdue laundry. thus, some people out there, of which i have confirmed with, are in fact doing just that. professional student and wannabe film maker benjamin diaz padero is currently rinsing his whites and blacks afterwhich he’ll do his denims and khakis, then his underwear. he confessed he had no choice but to do his laundry today on the account that despite his numerous pairs of underwear he is actually running out of clean ones. he says that he might have to do his browns, blues, reds and greens in another session since it might not be possible to finish everything today, he’s got a party to go to later, he says. for the record, benjamin uses pride laundry soap, which will keep his clothes smelling fresh even in rainy conditions. currently the sky has darkened and the prevailing clouds spell another storm coming. it is too early to tell and our lines with the pag-asa has just been cut off. we are now relying on lick-finger-stick-up-to-the-air method of checking wind traffic and speed. an ocular inspection of the stratosphere coincide with the wind report and indeed, it might actually rain today. if my knees start to get painful, youll definitely be seeing some cats and dogs. if you dont want to get wet and multiply, dont risk going out to quezon circle today.

and that’s the news for you at this hour. stay tuned for more news on studio 23 primetime. im benjamin padero.

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